I realize now, the worst day of my life was truly the best. My ill-spent life raced through my mind, during the hours I spent trapped in the crumpled wreckage of my new Beemer. Fear in my wife’s eyes turned dull as Helen lost consciousness. I was supposed to save the day, but I could only watch in frustration as everything I loved teetered on extinction.
Severe itching brings me out of my reverie. My kneecaps are reddened stinging stumps.
. It’s not her fault both of my legs from the knees on down are gone.
Helen’s gentle laugh is like water on glass. “Just where you left it, behind your coffee mug.” My wife has also been transformed through our disaster. How strange to think that it was her nagging that drove me from our home to work late. She gazes at me with eyes full of love and commitment. The pain of her injuries has brought out her kindness and gentleness. Some days I want to be grouchy, but as I look at her… she makes me… more than I could be otherwise.
For twenty years, I have slaved away earning a fortune. For what? My life is a mess. My children can’t stand me. But now… Why has my son, Jason, come home to care for us? We have enough money. He could have hired others to do it. Somehow, I think he still loves us, despite my failure as a dad. The tear on my lips is tasteless. I hate crying like an emotional wuss. I don’t deserve his kindness. I don’t deserve my wife’s sweetness. I barely deserve to live. Wouldn’t it be kinder to them all if I just slipped away?
I look into my wife’s crystalline blue eyes. Her love is all that is keeping me here. Her beautiful face has barely aged. Passionate love bursts out of my heart towards her. Of course, we share the loyal love of a life together. But the raging passion of a teenager has reignited. I love her with all my heart. I am reminded of our joy when our children were young. The summer at the lake house was the last peaceful time we shared before the tensions of my new job and the angst of teenagers.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see my handsome son enter the room. I know my wife raised Jason right, but I’d like to think I played a role in his becoming a man. I want to remind Helen of the good times and hope my son overhears. “Do you remember back in eighty-eight at the lake house?” She breathes deeply in response and sighs.
I now notice that a man in a white coat entered the room with my son. I turn to see his confused face. He looks at Jason and says, “Who is he talking to?”
“That’s why you’re here, doc.” Jason says, “He still hasn’t come to terms with my Mom’s passing.”