Ahjahn vs Phii
When I arrived I was immediately called ahjahn. I secretly loved it. I really enjoyed standing in front of the church and being told how appreciated I was. Over time I noticed that nobody ever confided in me. Also, I noticed that the original group of people had put me into a box where they assumed I couldn’t speak well, although, over the years I became fluent.
Then I started meeting other groups of people. I started out our relationship being in their mental box as someone who really understood the nuances of the language. I never told them what to call me but I steered the title towards them calling me Phii. (For instance I would self-title myself saying “Phi Sean wants to go too.”) I found with these groups of people that they did confide in me. Over the years I noticed that aarjarns get many opportunities to preach whereas Phi’s get less. On the other hand, as a Phi I was invited to more meals and fun outings and found myself in deep spiritual conversations.
For comparison about Westerners forcing their values. When I first arrived I tried to waii everyone the same and hoped that they would waii me back in a democratically equal way. This was forcing my worldview on their culture. I have learned over time to not waii the pizza delivery guy, or the doorman, or children. I do waii officials and senior pastors properly. I changed to be appropriate in the culture. But… for my title… I truly believe that my title affected my role which affected my experience and ultimately my effectiveness.