by Sean | Jun 24, 2016 | writing
I thought dying would hurt. Instead, it felt more like waking up. I stood beside the wreckage of my new Mercedes and felt a detached concern as I looked over at my mangled corpse. It was clear I was long past salvation. A crackle of energy behind me made me whip...
by Sean | Jun 24, 2016 | writing
I don’t know what’s real anymore. What if I am the only real entity of my kind on this planet and everyone else is an alien spying on me. No wait! Please don’t go. I don’t mean you. Maybe it’s just the two of us or a handful of us. Maybe it’s only the poor people on...
by Sean | Jun 2, 2016 | children, humor, writing
There is a secret word that people use to describe when a baby throws-up on you. It is called “Posit.” It may be short for “deposit” but it is nothing like the experience you get when putting money in the bank. It is more like the experience you have when asking for a...
by Sean | May 6, 2016 | humor, writing
Dappled afternoon light seeps through my angled window blinds. I close my eyes and sigh as my cartoonish theme song mysteriously begins to play. It somehow always let’s me know when a new case is about to begin. On cue, there is a knock at my door. “Come on in,” I...
by Sean | Apr 21, 2016 | writing
I’m laying on a stiff bed, in a stark, yet brightly-lit, hospital room. My head is pounding and the base of my spine aches and tingles. The sting of Lysol and Clorox burns my throat and nose. Two stern men in black suits, leer at me. My flesh is crawling. I don’t know...
by Sean | Apr 7, 2016 | humor, writing
I’m paying my way through college with the poker money I make from my dorm-mate. I hate his guts and not merely because he is filthy rich, but because he doesn’t know the value of money. He scatters it like seeds, instead of putting it to good use. Rodriguez is the...
by Sean | Mar 24, 2016 | writing
Once upon a time, primates ruled the jungle. King Obalump, the orangutan, constantly reminded the citizens to accept their societal roles. “As you must know, primates are smarter and therefore comprehend what is paramount for everyone.” The king would often say with...
by Sean | Mar 10, 2016 | writing
Murder is more than my hobby; it is my nemesis. Years of my life have been dedicated to analyzing and understanding the crime of murder. Because of my attention to detail, I am one of the highest paid criminologist consultants in the USA. Local police and even the FBI...
by Sean | Feb 11, 2016 | writing
Where am I? Oh my God, I have an even bigger question. Who am I? The room is a barren cement block and a cot squeaks under my bum. To my right is a porcelain toilet and sink. I stand and notice an empty wastebasket. No wait! It’s not empty. I think I see… yes! A note!...
by Sean | Jan 15, 2016 | humor, writing
The waiting room is sterile. There are no anvils, ACME products or any life-giving melodrama. Some humans are full of inspiration. Not these humans. The producer is a full on J.E.R.K. who doesn’t understand the value of talent. I hate waiting. How do humans endure it?...
