{"id":2104,"date":"2016-03-24T16:35:54","date_gmt":"2016-03-24T16:35:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/?p=2104"},"modified":"2016-09-12T16:38:50","modified_gmt":"2016-09-12T16:38:50","slug":"short-story-inn-ape-titude-political-satire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/short-story-inn-ape-titude-political-satire\/","title":{"rendered":"Short Story: Inn-Ape-titude (Political Satire)"},"content":{"rendered":"

O<\/strong>nce upon a time, primates ruled the jungle. King Obalump, the orangutan, constantly reminded the citizens to accept their societal roles. \u201cAs you must know, primates are smarter and therefore comprehend what is paramount for everyone.\u201d The king would often say with his hooty-haughty voice.<\/p>\n

The monkeys assigned the felines to be their enforcers. The tigers, lions and other meat-eaters were grateful that their position soothed their guilt from their eating habits. \u201cOnly eat the guilty\u201d, was their motto, but after a while, it seemed the guilty were merely those foolish enough to be nearby enforcers, when they felt hungry.<\/p>\n

Aside from the enforcers, few animals were content. The monkeys mandated enormous quotas of fruit be brought to their jungle palace. Much of this fruit was never eaten and often rotted. When King Obalump was asked about this, he would respond with a haughty-lisp, \u201cUneaten food, such as pine-nuts, is indispensable to insure the subject\u2019s precious protection. When outsiders stray into our exceptional province, we shall pummel them with projectiles until the pitiable idiots have retreated.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh populace, listen unto my precious wisdom. It is essential that the intolerant beliefs of outsiders not be permitted to corrupt the preeminent life-forms on earth, namely you. As we all clearly know, all life on earth was initially derived from primates. This is logical, as we are the cleverest. But, there are pagans on the planet, outside our paradise, who have no perception of precise truth. They do not comprehend their need for prudent predominant primate potentates. Such pathetic discussion must be eradicated from all of our schools, conversations and publications.\u201d<\/p>\n

Constance the bear was respected by all the animals for his gentleness and kindness. One day he asked King Obalump, \u201cWhy\u2026 we\u2026 work\u2026 hard? You\u2026 no\u2026 work\u2026 hard?\u201d He spoke slowly to cover over his stutter.<\/p>\n

The King laughed mockingly. He patted Constance\u2019s head and said, \u201cAll persons work hard. Apes use our superior intellect for the perfection of all life. The better our subjects provide for us, the more potency we will have to perform and rule with wisdom.\u201d<\/p>\n

One summer, no rain came and there was very little food in the land. Even so, the monkeys refused to lessen their demands.<\/p>\n

Constance worked even harder to gather honey, nuts and fruit, but the taxation left his tummy grumbling. He was sadly unable to help as many of the gentle forest animals starved to death. If he didn\u2019t fill his stomach soon, then he too, would surely perish like his sweet neighbor bunny friends. It was reported that several families of deer had also sadly died in the famine.<\/p>\n

Constance brought a five-bunch stalk of yellow bananas to Klux the white tiger. Klux ate one of the bananas in Constance\u2019s face. His voice was a gravely-growl. \u201cIs that all you have to offer? A big fellow like yourself should be capable of double that. Bring me more, you moron, or my pride and I will go after your family.\u201d<\/p>\n

Constance felt a fury he had never known. He clawed into Klux\u2019s face and ended his life quickly. His stomach growled. He had never eaten meat before, but he had no choice. Constance quickly gobbled up Klux, bones and all. He finished off his meal with a delicious banana dessert.<\/p>\n

Malcom, the black panther, entered the clearing. \u201cWhere\u2019s Klux?\u201d he growled while looking at the ground at Klux\u2019s blood splattered badge. Malcolm screamed and pounced. Constance easily swatted him into a nearby tree. Malcolm tasted even better than Klux. Until now, he had never considered eating meat, but now, it was all he craved.<\/p>\n

He returned home and told his pack about his carnivorous discovery. They all agreed that his actions, although impulsive, were appropriate. Together they united and formed a plan.<\/p>\n

Late, one night, at the end of autumn, the bears attacked the palace. Many felines escaped into the prairies and plains, but many more were eaten. Then the bears raided the monkey palace. Any monkeys too fat to climb trees were quickly devoured, including King Obalump. The bears, exhausted and stuffed, went into hiding in mountainous caves.<\/p>\n

When the bears finally returned into the light after their hibernation, they were greeted as heroes by all the animals remaining in the land. They had gratefully survived the harsh winter by enjoying the vast stores of food left behind by the monkeys.<\/p>\n

The monkeys rarely came back down from the trees and never again did they attempt to rule over the animal kingdom.<\/p>\n

The End<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Once upon a time, primates ruled the jungle. King Obalump, the orangutan, constantly reminded the citizens to accept their societal roles. \u201cAs you must know, primates are smarter and therefore comprehend what is paramount for everyone.\u201d The king would often say with his hooty-haughty voice. The monkeys assigned the felines to be their enforcers. The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2104","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2104"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2104\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2105,"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2104\/revisions\/2105"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanborns.org\/word_press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}